


Murder on the Dancefloor

by WolfieQuiffy



Series: Murder on the Dancefloor [1]
Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-10-29 04:08:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10846170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfieQuiffy/pseuds/WolfieQuiffy
Summary: Zayn Malik, 24. Living alone for the first time in Brixton, U.K. Likes animals, drawing and comic books (yes, I am a geek). Loves Ballroom Dancing (no, I'm not kidding). Seeking basic human interaction. Connection. Physical Affection (no, not in the way you're thinking). Kindness. Understanding. Friendship. And maybe a chance to dance once more.No, not a Tinder profile, but a deep, abiding desire to form a true and pure bond with someone. A bond untarnished by the past. To find happiness again - after all these years, however undeserved.Enter Liam Payne .....





	1. A Second Chance? Yes, No, Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you like it! :) It’s my first fic so this is all new to me! You can come talk to me on my [tumblr](http://www.wolfiequiffy.tumblr.com)
> 
> **** Please note: even though it looks like this is a completed fic it isn't sorry - I decided not to continue (see chapter three if you want to know why) and didn't want to leave it as a wip. Not sure if that was the right think to do. I'm new to writing so I don't know what the correct etiquette is? Sorry if someone started to read this without knowing it was incomplete. I realise now I should have put this note up earlier. Thanks x

The beat.

It's always been the beat that got him first, got him hooked, filled him with this inexorable urge to move.

To dance.

And this song was giving him this feeling now. This need to move to the rhythm. A need he hadn't felt in such a long time.

And all this despite the fact this was his first dance class in forever (far longer than he cared to admit to anyone, especially himself).

So this is how Zayn found himself self-consciously stepping forward and taking a gorgeous strangers hand. To attempt to salsa to Sophie Ellis Bextor's "Murder on the Dancefloor", hoping with everything in him that it wouldn't turn out to be a metaphor for what was about to happen on _this_ particular dance floor.

Thankfully it didn't turn out to be a complete disaster. The stranger, who also happened to be the teacher, compensating for Zayn's nerves and rustiness with his obvious skill and experience. Moving his body so mesmerisingly and seductively, he somehow managed to get Zayn out of his head for once. To just feel for a change and forget all the shit that typically filled his head on a daily basis. And it felt good is the thing, to let go and enjoy the feeling of dancing with someone so closely, to be in sync. To feel a connection.

But now was the hard part - trying to engage in conversation with this stranger. Because that's what he still was, even if he now knew his name (Liam) and was only just minutes earlier being held manfully in his muscular arms.

"So I'm assuming this isn't your first dance lesson?" Liam asked with a knowing smirk, after everyone else had left.

"Um. No, not really but it kind of felt like it was," Zayn responded shyly.

Somehow he found the courage to continue on, adding after a slight pause, "I really don't know how I managed not to break at least one of your toes with the amount of times I stepped on your feet! Sorry - I'm sure you wished you'd been paired with someone who actually knew what they're doing." Zayn purposefully left out the 'and wasn't a guy' part of that sentence, afraid of the response he would get.

"Oh god. No need to apologise, really. If only all my first timers could dance as well as you! And besides, it was nice to get to dance a whole routine for change. Usually everyone is already paired-up."

It was at this last comment that Zayn found himself tensing up. Shit he didn't even think of that when he decided to sign up to this class - duh Zayn, generally people wanting to learn ballroom dancing do it as a couple. Problem was Zayn didn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend he could have asked. Truth be told he didn't even have a friend he could have somehow coerced into coming (you actually need to have friends in the first place for this to be an option).

"You ok mate? I think I lost you there for a minute," Liam said, breaking Zayn out of his impromptu self-pity party.

"Oh, sorry. I - I was just telling myself off for coming to a ballroom dancing lesson without a partner. It was kinda dumb of me."

Now feeling incredibly embarrassed, Zayn determinedly kept looking down at his shoes, not wanting to risk seeing a look of destain in the man's eyes.

However it was now Liam's turn to fall silent in apparent thought, Zayn glancing up briefly only to notice him staring in his direction with an unreadable expression. Feeling a need to fill the uncomfortable silence, Zayn spoke again, "That's normally how these classes work innit?"

"Yeh. I guess, but technically I've never advertised them as being 'couples only' so it's not a problem, honestly. I-I hope this hasn't turned you off coming again next week?"

Zayn finally looked up fully at this unexpected question. If he didn't know any better he'd think that Liam almost sounded and looked hopeful that his answer would be no. But that couldn't be that case, could it? I mean Zayn wasn't blind or stupid - this man standing before him was incredibly attractive, obviously talented, and judging from their brief conversation also very kind, so why would he be anxious to see him again?

"Honestly? If you had asked me that question when we first starting dancing I probably would have said no. But now? It's a maybe I guess," Zayn replied, trying not to sound insincere in the midst of his confusion.

Liam laughed in response, adding, "Well a _maybe_ is better than a no. Hopefully it turns into a yes by next week, hey?"

Zayn felt his face blush, bursting into a wide smile at his comment, not just because he found this man very endearing, but also pleased at himself for making Liam laugh. Unfortunately, like most good moments in his life, his happy daze was interrupted as a group of teenagers pushed excitedly through the studio door, presumably for the next lesson.

"Alright you lot. I don't know how many times I've told you not to come in for your lesson until I come out and get you," Liam chastised, as he herded the kids towards the far wall. He then turned back towards Zayn with an apologetic expression. "Sorry. Looks like our chat has to come to an end - duty calls unfortunately."

Zayn glanced at his watch then, surprised at the time. "That's ok, I need to get going anyway. Thanks for the lesson. And the talk. I'll leave you to it - looks like you've got your hands full. Bye."

"Yeh. Bye Zayn. Thanks for coming. It was nice meeting you and I hope you enjoyed yourself."

Zayn made his way towards the door then, wondering if he would have enough guts to come back next week or not, when he felt a warm hand brush against his arm lightly. Surprised by the touch, he turned back towards Liam, immediately getting caught up in a pair of warm brown eyes looking back at him somewhat sheepishly.

"Zayn?" he said hesitantly, rubbing at his beard in what was likely a nervous habit (one that Zayn recognised all to well, given it was something he often did himself).

"Yeh?"

"I don't suppose there's anything I could do to help that maybe further along towards a yes is there? I-I mean it's just that it would be nice to have someone else in the class that knows what they're doing you know? That's all."

Zayn pondered on what Liam had said briefly before replying with a slight smirk, "I think you just did mate".

"Sorry. What?"

Realising then that his poor attempt at flirting with his dance teacher had fallen somewhat flat, he decided to cut his losses and leave before he made a compete fool of himself.

"Forget it Liam. Just me trying and failing to be witty. Thanks again. Bye."

Zayn quickly made his way out the door then, very deliberately denying Liam a chance to reply.

 

......

 

_Brakes screeching, breaking glass, screams, crying, the chocking smell of burning oil, blood, red, nothing but red, followed by stillness, silence. Then sirens and yelling, so much yelling. So much grief and sadness. No. I'm so sorry, it was an accident. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY._

Zayn woke with an audible gasp, struggling for breath, almost hyperventilating. It was the same dream again. Always the same. The same nightmare he had endured on and off for 6 years nearly, ever since _it_ happened.

He got up from his bed, slowly making his way through his tiny, shitty bedsit, towards his equally cramped kitchenette. After fumbling in the dark for the light switch, Zayn poured himself a glass of water, gulping it down in seconds, his breathing slowly starting to come under control again.

"Why can't I let this go once and for all?" Zayn thought aloud, as he gripped the cool steel edge of the sink, looking down at his distorted reflection. "Will I ever feel normal again?"

Quickly remembering that this is a one-sided conversation that he's never been able to resolve, Zayn walked back to his bed, lying down in the faint hope of finding sleep again.

Turns out his hope was misplaced, his mind unfortunately too furtive for sleep, or even rest, to be an option. So he turned to the only thing that really helped him relax at times like this - drawing.

It wasn't long before he found him self sketching brown puppy dog eyes, a cute button nose and a strong jawline covered in just the right amount of fuzz.

Liam. Liam Payne was the subject of his drawing once again. Zayn was embarrassed to admit that his salsa lesson at Studio B and the teacher of said class had rarely been far from his mind these past few days.

Why, he wasn't sure. Perhaps because he was the first person in a long time too show Zayn kindness with no strings attached. Perhaps it was simply because he felt an undeniable attraction to him? Whatever the reason for his current preoccupation with this man, drawing Liam once again resulted in a welcome bonus - calmness, a feeling all to uncommon to him nowadays.

Unfortunately the feeling was interrupted far too quickly as his alarm sounded on his phone.

Zayn sighed as he stood up, wishing with all he had that he could just call in sick to work. Fall back into bed and get a few more hours of glorious sleep. But that wasn't an option for him, being a casual waiter. Either you work or you don't get paid. And if you don't get paid you don't get to eat or pay your rent or if your really lucky maybe buy some long overdue paint supplies. _Yeh right_ , he thought to himself, _like that's ever going to_ _happen_ _Zayn_.

Walking towards his front door 20 minutes later he couldn't help but wonder if this was all his life would ever be. Go to work, come home exhausted hours later and try to scrounge up a meal from whatever food he had in his fridge. Maybe do some drawing or read (watching tv wasn't an option - he couldn't afford one) before falling into a fitful sleep. Get up the next day and rinse and repeat, day after mind numbingly boring day.

As Zayn reached for his house key, his eyes inadvertently fell to his calendar hanging on the wall, realising today was Tuesday. Meaning tomorrow was Wednesday, the day of Liam's next dance class. And suddenly his mood improved, feeling a small measure of hope at the prospect of seeing Liam again. Of getting to dance once more. Hope that maybe he could look forward to at least one day a week in his miserable life.

But only if he was willing to take a risk. To do something which gave him joy, even if deep down he didn't think he really deserved it.

He continued to mull over what to do all the way to work, finally coming to a conclusion as he stepped off the bus. He'd let fate be his guide. If he made enough in tips over the next two days to cover the cost of another dance lesson, he would go. If not, then sadly Liam and dancing would have to remain an unfulfilled (but very nice) dream.

 

......

 

"What are you doing?"

Zayn jumped back with a start, before realising that it was just the new waiter (he wanted to say his name was Lewis? or Louis? Zayn didn't really care if he was being honest) once again trying to engage with him.

"Jesus mate you nearly scared me half to death. Maybe try not getting up in people's faces without any warning next time!"

"Well excuse me for fucking existing! Are you always this prickly, _mate?_ " he snarled back at Zayn, his blue eyes now shinning with unmistakable anger.

"Look _Lewis_.."

"Louis. It's Louis," he practically growled at Zayn, through gritted teeth.

"As I was about to say _Louis_ , is there a point to this conversation or was your only reason for coming over here to annoy me?"

Louis took a deep breath before answering Zayn, now sounding slightly calmer. "I saw you furiously counting your tips over here in the corner like it was a bloody state secret and I was just wondering why. That's all mate. No ulterior motive of trying to cement your opinion of me being a first class prick - Trust me. Although I suspect even if I ran in and saved a baby from a burning building you'd still continue to treat me like crap!"

Zayn couldn't believe what he was hearing. Who was this guy? Why would Zayn waste any energy on him one way or another? He wasn't working in this place to make friends or enemies. This Louis guy was his workmate, nothing more, nothing less.

"I don't know why you'd care whether I like you or not? We're here to work. Its not fuckin' high school!"

Louis stared at Zayn then, looking confused, as if he was some new creature that has just been discovered in the wild. When he eventually spoke again what he said was not something Zayn was expecting to hear.

"I'm not stupid. I know working in a local caff is different to school, but I happen to believe that it makes working a hell of a lot more enjoyable if you make an effort to get to know the people you work with. At least that's always been _my_ experience, obviously you think differently."

Louis was starting to sound a bit defeated now, and if Zayn was a better person he'd almost feel guilty, but he wasn't and Louis needed to realise this for his own sake. So with that in mind he decided it was time to be blunt. Brutally so in fact.

"Louis, look I know you probably mean well, but trust me you don't want to be my friend. Everything, and I mean _everything_ I touch turns to shite. Period. So let's just pretend that this convo never happened and get back to work. Ok?"

Zayn turned to walk back onto the main floor of the cafe when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Did this guy ever give up?

"Louis. Please just leave it be," he sighed.

"I will, I promise. But under one condition," he said with a cheeky grin.

Zayn was really starting to loose his patience now. Why did this guy decide to harass him today of all days. He just wanted to finish his damm shift and maybe get to dance tonight (being anxious about the possibility of seeing Liam again was not part of the equation. Really!). However, it was becoming more and more apparent that Louis was someone that didn't back down easily.

Folding his arms in front of him, Zayn grumbled, "Ok fine, I'll bite. What's this condition?"

"You answer me original question," Louis bargained. "Why are you counting your tips now when the wait staff normally do it all together at the end of shift?"

And this is where, looking back, Zayn knows he's going to forever wonder what made him open up. What made him give an honest answer for a change, instead of telling people what he thought they wanted to hear or alternatively just shutting them out completely.

"I-I need to know if if I'll have enough money to pay for a.."

"A what? Come on Zayn it can't be that bad," he challenged.

 _Yeh_ , Zayn thought, _it can_.

"Ballroomdancingclasstonight," he muttered quickly, hoping that Louis suddenly had a hearing problem he neglected to tell anybody about (yeh right - as if he'd keep that quiet, it would have been the first thing out of his mouth when they met! Louis is definitely the type to be a over sharer) and hadn't heard what he just said.

"Did you say ballroom dancing? You like dancing? Like waltzing and all that stuff?"

Louis had a shit-eating grin on his face now, clearly amused at this turn of events. Great. Now Zayn will never hear the end of it, and worse still he'll probably tell everyone else! Well you know what, Zayn decided, fuck it. He'd just spent the last 5 minutes making it perfectly clear to Louis that he didn't give two shits about what he thought about him or vice versa, so for once he was going to be proud about his love of dancing, instead of treating it like it was something to be ashamed of.

"Yeh. That kind of dancing bro. Waltzing, salsa, rumba. I love all of them and if you have a problem with that, then quite frankly, you can go and get royally stuffed!"

For a minute Zayn thought he had achieved the impossible - getting Louis to shut up, as he stood there starring at him with his mouth slightly ajar. But alas the blissful silence didn't last long, as his workmate spoke up once more.

"Cool. Yeh. That's actually pretty sick Zayn," Louis said thoughtfully, before starting to wave his hands around dramatically near Zayn's head and torso, "You've got this whole broody image going on, like you don't care about anything, but underneath you're actually a bit of a creative soul. Yeh. You know, I think I like it. Maybe we can be friends after all."

And for the second time today Zayn just had to wonder - who the hell was this Louis guy? And why was the universe apparently so keen to help him shoehorn his way into Zayn's life? Because Zayn could feel his defences waning in response to what Louis had just said. In response to him, like Liam had last week, showing a kindness that was most definitely not earned.

"So you're really ok with this? You're not going spend every shift teasing me about it whenever you get the opportunity?"

"Yeh. That's what I just said didn't I? Wow you really have trust issues don't you?" Louis scoffed.

"You don't know the half of it mate!" Zayn replied, just as he saw Louis open his mouth to begin to say something else, so he held his hand up and continued, "and I'm going to stop you right there before you start trying to probe me again, ok? We really need to get back to work or neither of us will have any shifts here."

"Yeh ok. But just to be clear bro I think you may have gotten the wrong end of the stick - I don't want to _probe_ you in _any_ way! My interest in you is purely platonic!"

And he was full on laughing now as he walked over to his section, clearly far too amused by his own joke. _Figures_ , Zayn thought to himself, trying but failing not to laugh a little himself.

"And I still think your kinda of a prick!" Zayn half-yelled across the room, hoping the manager, Paul, was preoccupied in the kitchen.

They both shared a final smile before turning their attention to their respective customers. Zayn spotted a couple of girls sitting at the booth in the corner and made a bee line for their table, plastering on his best flirty smile in hopes of a good tip. He'd somehow managed not to let on to Louis that he only needed a few more pounds to be able to pay for Liam's lesson tonight, so if he could convince these two to each order dessert after their meal, he figured he'd just have enough.

Zayn's mind began to race. Shit. The maybe was so close to a yes. And Zayn was happy about it. Happy. Wow - now there's an emotion he hadn't felt for a long time!

"Hi. How are you lovelies today? Are you ready to order?"

Maybe life doesn't always have to suck. And maybe fate was on his side for a change.

 

.....

 

Less than an hour after finishing his shift Zayn found himself in the hallway outside the dance studio. He looked at his watch - 6:45 pm. He was actually early for once in his life. How ironic, the one time he'd be more than happy to be late for something and he's early. Fifteen minutes in fact - great now he'll have time to get even more nervous than he already was.

He glanced through the glass panel in the door, and there he laid eyes on the source of his nerves tonight, Liam. He was dancing with a young girl, adoration clear in her eyes as she gazed up at him (Zayn knew the feeling), as he gently lead her across the floor in a attempt at a basic Vienna Waltz.

Zayn was once again mesmerised by this man, so much so that he initially missed Liam's little wave to him through the door. He quickly recovered though, smiling broadly in return and adding a lame little wave of his own. Good one Zayn, smooth, very smooth!

Before he knew it Liam was peeking his head out the door at him, eyes crinkling at the sides, his smile so large.

"Hey. You came!" he said excitedly, "but you're actually a bit early. Sorry, I'm just finishing off my 'Intro to Waltz' with the little ones. Um, you could come in and watch if you like? You might actually be able to pick up on some things the kids need improvement on that I'm not seeing?"

Zayn was so gone for this guy already. He just knew it. Knew it in the way he felt his heart rate increase, in the way his palms started sweating and in the blush he felt forming on his cheeks. Unfortunately he also knew with as much certainty that he was headed for heartbreak, because this infatuation he was beginning to develop towards Liam was sure to be one sided. And if by some miracle his feelings were returned, he'd have to nip it in the bud anyway, before they both got in too deep (and both got hurt). Yet despite all this he found himself nodding towards Liam and walking through the door as he held it open, like he was some sort of remote controlled robot being directed by Cupid himself.

"You sure this is ok? I don't want to get in the way," Zayn half-whispered, not wanting to disturb the class as he shuffled awkwardly across the dance floor.

"No. Absolutely not. As I said you'd be doing me a favour, really. You can sit down on one of the benches over near the wall if you like."

Quickly nodding his agreement, he took a seat as close to the wall as he could get in a vain effort to try and make himself less visible. As Liam took his students through the next part of the lesson, Zayn took the opportunity to take a closer look at his surrounds.

The studio was a small space but well designed, with a mirror all along the wall to his right which was meticulously clean. In fact now that he thought about it the whole studio was spotless, which was a feat in itself given the amount of traffic that undoubtedly comes through the doors on a daily basis. And it left Zayn in no doubt who was responsible for keeping it so clean. _Great_ , he thought, _just another thing to add to the list 'Things that makes Liam Payne_ _perfect_ '.

Just then his attention was drawn back to the man himself, as he laughed heartily at something one of the kids said. He was truely a site to behold. Lovely golden brown hair, swept up and to the side a bit, with a slight curl to it, making Zayn wonder if he straightened it. (Also making him wonder what it looked like freshly washed after a shower). Zayn winced and scolded himself internally - Oh my god, get a grip. It was not appropriate to be thinking of naked, wet Liam around a bunch of young kids!

By way of punishment for these very non PG thoughts, he forced himself to turn his attention on to the students (and away from Liam) and how they were were dancing, determined to have something to report back to Liam by the end of the class. But best laid plains and all that, because less than a minute later Zayn found himself staring at Liam's legs.

His mind went blank for a second and all he could think was - whoa! (So articulate Zayn). They were so muscular is the thing, hardly surprising given how long he imagined Liam had been dancing for, but still they were impressive. And the way he moved, with such grace his feet appearing to somehow float above the floor - almost like a modern day Fred Astaire. _Does he need a Ginger in is life?,_ Zayn thought lamely _._

It wasn't until he saw Liam crook an eyebrow at him questionably, that Zayn realised he had sighed quite loudly following his last thought. Embarrassed, he just shrugged and took out his phone under the pretext of checking for messages - there weren't any, he never got messages unless you count the ones from his boss begging him to come in to cover for someone.

Eventually the torture of trying to avoid staring at Liam too obviously or catch his eye lest he let on his feelings, which were surely written all over his face, ended as Liam waved goodbye to his students. (God, even his wave is cute).

"Hey, that wasn't too boring for you was it?" Liam enquired almost shyly as he walked over to Zayn and sat down next to him.

"No. It was fine really. I actually enjoyed it. Kinda brought back some nice memories, you know?" Zayn replied, trying desperately to keep his cool with having Liam this close to him and smelling sooo good too.

"Yeh. I think I know what you mean. Dancing at that age was just easy wasn't it? No pressure, just learning how to perform for the fun of it!"

And there it was again, his crinkly eyed smile on full display, quickly becoming Zayn's favourite thing about this man.

"So um, I did spot a couple of things, if you want to know?"

"Yeh, absolutely. Go for it Zayn. Like I said earlier, I would really value your opinion."

Wow. So this is what it felt like to be valued? Zayn had honestly forgotten what it was like, it had been so long, but he was worried when his next thought was _I could get used to this_.

Quickly shaking off these dangerous thoughts, Zayn turned to face Liam fully and said, "So Lisa was it? The cute little one in the red dress? Yeh she's got a lot of potential I think, but maybe she needs some work on pointing her feet more and keeping a better shape with her back during close partner work?"

"Yes. You're right, Lisa is definitely one of my better students and I agree with you on her back shape, but I honestly hadn't noticed her not pointing her feet enough. See, I told you you'd spot things I would miss. Thanks Zayn, really, you're a godsend."

He reached over then and gave quick a squeeze to Zayn's shoulder, before withdrawing his hand just as quickly, as if rethinking his actions.

Looking at Liam's now sheepish expression, Zayn couldn't help but want to reassure him that such an innocent touch was not unwelcome. So with a quiet, "It's ok," he light heartedly punched Liam's upper arm and offered what he hoped was a friendly, but not too flirty, smile.

And for a moment the world around them seemed to fade away, gazing at each other for what seemed like an age (but was probably only seconds), before being disturbed by the arrival of his classmates, as they shuffled through the studio door.

"So I guess once again we've had a chat interrupted. Becoming a bit of a habit with us isn't it?" Zayn smirked, shocked at his own bravery to attempt a slightly flirty comment.

"Hopefully not a bad habit?" Liam responded cheekily, thankfully picking up on Zayn's playful banter, before continuing on quickly, "The chatting part I mean, not the people walking in on us!"

"Yeh, I could _maybe_ get used to it"

"There's that word again - Maybe! I'm beginning to think you like keeping people guessing Zayn," Liam returned with an attempted wink (at least Zayn thought that's what he was going for - regardless it was as cute as fuck!) before getting up to greet everyone.

Yeh Zayn could definitely get used to a lot of things when it came to Liam. Shit.

 

......

 

The next week passed in a blur for Zayn. Work was insanely busy. Louis wanted to take the credit for the increased foot traffic through the cafes door by his mere presence, but Paul took great delight in pointing out to him that it was in fact due to a favourable review in the local paper. For the life of him Zayn couldn't figure out how that had happened. The food at 'Vera Cruz' was varied he'd give it that (a combination of British, Spanish and Portuguese fare) but it wasn't anything flash and the decor inside the cafe was pretty basic too. Certainly not deserving of the four star rating they'd received, making Zayn suspicious a few pounds may have passed under a table somewhere!

His full-on week had left Zayn feeling flat as he walked from the bus stop to Studio B for Liam's next lesson. Well at least that's what he told himself, not wanting to admit that it was actually because the only thing he'd eaten all day was a dodgy looking biscuit he found at the bottom of the biscuit barrel this morning.

He also stubbornly didn't want to dwell on the reason for this lack of food. So what if he had done a deal with Paul to give him some cash on the sly in exchange for not taking advantage of the staff discounted breakfast and lunch today like he normally did. It was absolutely worth forgoing a bit of food if it meant being able to afford Liam's dance class once more.

Thankfully Rumba was the chosen dance for today's lesson (he didn't want to think about what might have happen if it had been the Quick Step), although being crotch to crotch with Liam for an extended period became a lesson in self restraint Zayn had no desire to ever repeat!

As Liam said a cheery good bye to the last couple, Zayn pretended to still be stretching, anxious to have another one of their chats, something that had quickly become the favourite part of his week.

Zayn was pulled out of his reverie when he felt his phone start to vibrate in his pocket. Looking down at his cracked screen he saw that it was an unknown number. He was immediately torn as to whether to answer or not, reluctant to sacrifice any of his 'Liam time', but considering he usually received so few calls he decided to press accept just in case it was something or someone important.

"Hello," Zayn spoke hesitantly into his phone.

"Zayn, is that you mate?"

 _Fucking hell_ , he instantly thought, _I'm going to kill him_!

"Louis," Zayn seethed, "Why are you calling me and how on earth did you get my number because I sure as hell didn't give it to you!"

"Jesus Christ Zayn, calm down. You're going to give yourself a fuckin' aneurism if you're not careful."

The amusement in Louis' voice was clear, doing nothing to quell Zayn's growing annoyance, but he tried to keep his emotions in check as he could now sense Liam's presence nearby.

"Can you just answer my questions Louis. I really don't have time for this now!" he whisper- shouted at Louis, hoping like hell Liam couldn't hear what he was saying.

"I would if you'd stop jumping down my throat every time I opened my mouth!"

" _Louis!"_

"Fine. If you must know I was just ringing to make sure you were ok".

"What? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because I was having a beer with Paul after work and he happened to let slip that you didn't have breakfast or lunch today. I knew you were bullshitting me earlier when you said you'd gone to the park down the road to eat. As if Zayn Malik would actually want to spent time outside in the fresh air for any other reason than to have a fag! Lucky for you I was able to convince Paul to give me your number."

 _Lucky_ isn't the word Zayn would use. He could feel his head start to throb. Louis Tomlinson was going to be the end of him, he was sure of it. And Paul too. He was painfully aware of his tendency to develop a loose tongue and questionable decision making skills when he drank, he just never thought it would come back to bite him in the arse!

He took a deep breath and resolved to end this phone call as quickly and painlessly as possible.

"Louis, look, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine really. I promise I'll have something to eat when I get home ok?"

"Yeh. And would that be an actual meal, or just a cheese sandwich Zayn? You've obviously forgotten our conversation from yesterday when you told me that all you had in your fridge currently was a half loaf of bread and some cheese that you thought had been there since before New Years!"

And this here. This conversation was the reason Zayn had, up until now, resolutely had a 'no friends at work' policy. Damm Louis and his refusal to take no for an answer!

"Louis can we please just drop it for now? I'll promise to have two sandwiches for supper if it will make you feel better."

"Fine. But just know I be watching you like a bloody hawk tomorrow at work making sure you actually have a decent feed for once. You really are too skinny bro, you need to get some meat on them bones."

"Ok. Whatever. So we're all good then?"

"Yeh, I'll see you tomorrow you wanker! Take care of yourself ok?"

Zayn visibly slumped in relief as he said a quiet goodbye to Louis. His relief however was short lived when he turned around to see Liam looking at him with a concerned look on his face. 

"Is everything ok Zayn? I'm sorry I couldn't help but overhear some of what you were saying. Is a sandwich really all your going to have for dinner tonight? Because I don't want to come across as a mother hen, but that really isn't enough food, especially after having just danced for an hour."

Crap. Why couldn't Louis have rung 10 minutes later? How was Zayn going fob Liam off now without coming across as an ungrateful twat?

"Look Liam, it's really sweet of you to be concerned for my diet, but honestly it's fine. I had a big lunch. I'm not even that hungry."

"So why did you just promise this _Louis_ person to have two sandwiches when you get home?" he retorted quickly, shifting uncomfortably from side to side, his facial expression one of slight annoyance, before quickly cooling his features into a more neutral state.

As Zayn took a moment to contemplate Liam's reaction, he found himself coming to an expected conclusion - if he didn't know any better he'd almost think he seemed a bit jealous. But that made no sense. For Liam to be jealous he'd actually have to possess some sort of attraction towards Zayn. Knowing that was an unlikely possibility and consequently not wanting to dwell on such a depressing subject, he quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind and focused back on the situation at hand.

He bent down briefly to pick up his backpack, hoping to indicate through this small gesture that he wanted to bring an end to this conversation. Unfortunately Liam wasn't so easily put off and continued to stand resolutely before Zayn clearly waiting for an explanation.

Zayn offered an apologetic smile, reluctant to admit that Liam's concern was valid, that he was actually starving. Ultimately any decision was taken out of his hands, betrayed by his own body as his stomach developed a mind of its own and choose that exact moment to let out a loud rumble!

Liam's eyes widened almost comically, followed by a quirk of his lips, before he began full-on laughing at his plight, cheeks pushing up, his mouth wide open, a picture of pure delight. And despite his own embarrassment, Zayn couldn't help but join in, doubling over in hiccuping guffaws, trying to catch his breath.

Eventually, following a few failed attempts, they began to gain control over there laughter, Liam being the first to speak, hesitantly asking, "We...um... we could get something to eat together if you like?"

"Now? Don't you have another lesson?" Zayn countered, as he looked out the door expecting to see a group of impatient teenagers but instead was met with an empty hallway.

Liam chuckled, obviously noting Zayn's confusion and explained, "There's no one out there waiting because the class was cancelled."

"Cancelled?"

"Yeh. Don't sound so disappointed!", Liam teased. "Half of them came down with that Flu that's being doing the rounds, so I didn't think there was much point going ahead with like 4 people. So, you up for some dinner then?"

"Um. I don't know," Zayn paused, still unsure of whether to accept Liam's offer, "I...I guess so - but nothing too fancy. And I'm going to pay you back next week."

"Sounds good to me. And trust me if you thought I was going to suggest somewhere fancy then I'm afraid I might be the wrong man for you - in case you've haven't figured it out already, I'm a pretty simple guy," Liam said happily. He glanced at Zayn then, face dropping slightly before offering a nervous half smile, no doubt having realised what he said implied this was a date rather than just a dinner between friends (were they even that much to each other?).

Zayn decided to take pity on him though and ignore what he had said, not just for Liam's sake but maybe for his own too - the thought of Liam seeing himself as "boyfriend material" made him nervous.

"So if your not treating me to a fancy dinner, where are we going to go then?" Zayn teased.

Liam gave a cheeky grin, ushering Zayn towards the door as he replied, "You'll just have to wait and see won't you?"

Zayn smiled to himself as they made their way out of the building. Maybe he'd have to thank Louis for being a nosy twat when he next saw him because even though tonight was most definitely not a date, maybe in the future, who knows?

 

.....

 

Half and hour later Zayn found himself sat on a park bench in a little green space near the studio, called Rush Common (Liam had cajoled him into agreeing to eat here, saying that it was too nice an evening to be inside), eating a Macca's McChicken Sandwich meal. Liam had at at first appeared reluctant to suggest they walk the just over half a mile it took to reach the nearest McDonald's, but had relaxed when Zayn assured that it he was not fussy. If he failed to let on his great relief at the realisation that Liam would only have to spend a few pounds on him, then only he needed to know that!

"You did not nearly make the London Olympic team?" Zayn laughed before popping another chip in his mouth.

"Honest," Liam chided, holding his hands up in surrender, "I was a cross country champ all through secondary school!"

"So what happened then?"

"I don't know. I guess when it came down to it I decided that dancing was more important to me than running. Also the early mornings really sucked." he giggled (yes fucking giggled!), before finishing of the last of his Big Mac.

Zayn, so endeared by Liam, found himself agreeing heartily, "Well, I can certainly relate to that. I _hate_ getting up in the morning, especially on work days 'cause I have to be there for the breakfast rush."

Liam turned fully towards him then, his interest peeked, "So, you work in a restaurant?"

"Um, no. It's just a cafe. It's not that far up the road actually, just across the road from St Matthews - 'Vera Cruz'? You've probably never ever heard of it. It's pretty small," Zayn half-mumbled, not sure why he was offering up details of his life so readily, especially to someone who, in reality, he barely knew.

Liam, however seemed to be an open book, as he clapped his hands excitedly and gushed, "Oh my god! I used to love that place. After college, I'd make a special stop there before work just for their all-day breakfast - order the full English, and it used to last me until tea. Probably ended up saving me a shit ton of money over that year."

With Liam now smiling broadly at him, Zayn took a moment to digest what Liam had said. While he was glad to have discovered something that linked their lives, however fragile, he couldn't help but feel envious of him having experienced something as normal as going to college, when it was something he'd been denied.

Quickly shaking himself loose of these unwanted thoughts he queried, "So you went to college and taught dance at the same time?"

"Yeh, but I'm not gonna lie, it was hard. I was never very good at study. Um, missed quite a bit of school when I was little and then got into running, so you know," he said with a shrug, as if that would explain everything he had left unsaid. Zayn could sense from Liam's demeanour that it was a sore point for him so he stayed mute and let him continue.

"Once I got the job at Studio B, Mum kept at me about doing a business course," he explained, before slipping into what Zayn guessed was an exaggerated impression of his mum. " 'If you're serious about making a living out of teaching dance honey, you need to know what it takes behind the scenes to manage money and run a successful business.' So I somehow managed to compete a Certificate of Business at Lambeth College, while still teaching and taking dance classes!"

"Wow. I'm impressed," Zayn smirked. "It's a pity I didn't meet you a few months back, could have used your financial know how."

Liam gave him a concerned look (not really what Zayn was going for with his attempted flirty comment), as he questioned, "Really? Why's that?"

Zayn hesitated to answer at first, not sure if he was ready to open up any more to Liam, but something about this man and his gentle manner gave him the courage to at least share a small part of his life.

"Um. Well you've probably already guessed that things money wise are a bit tight."

Liam nodded in answer so he continued, "Yeh, well when I moved into my current place I had to come up with about seventeen hundred quid upfront, and I didn't even have a quarter of that, so I had to get one of those dodgy pay day loans to make up the rest."

Zayn ducked his head then, nervously playing with a frayed thread on his jeans, trying to put off having to look up at Liam's face and see an inevitable expression of disapproval.

"Hey," he said, as he reached out to gently place his hand over Zayn's, "It's ok. We all get into money trouble from time to time. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Zayn looked at Liam's hand on his own and felt a jolt of happiness rush through him. How was this man sitting next to him even real? And how did he get so lucky to have him in his life? He finally looked up at Liam and gave him his best smile, trying to convey all the gratitude he was feeling in that one small gesture.

"Thanks. It's really sweet of you to say that. Most people would have called me out for doing something so stupid. And before you say it wasn't, I know it was, but I didn't really have any other choice unfortunately."

"You couldn't have borrowed some money from your family? Or a friend?"

"No. That, um, wasn't an option. It's ok though, I've already paid off over half of it and I'm taking as many shifts at work as possible so hopefully it won't take much longer."

Zayn could sense Liam was still curious as to why there wasn't anyone he could have turned to for help, but thankfully he didn't press any further, giving his hand a quick squeeze before releasing it. And he immediately felt the loss of skin to skin contact, a sad reminder to him of how he'd been deprived of physical affection for so long.

To lighten the mood, Liam changed tact, launching into a hilarious story about how he ended up in the wrong lecture hall on his first day of college but didn't realise until the lecturer started talking about potty training. Not surprising considering it was an Intro to early childhood education class!

And he continued talking, regaling Zayn with stories of his family (two older sisters, Ruth and Nicola together with his Mum and Dad, all sounding incredibly supportive of each other) and what it was like growing up in Wolverhampton (boring at times, but in some ways felt a bit like living in a big country town), Zayn could feel his cheeks getting sore from how much he had been smiling. In fact it felt like he'd smiled and laughed more in the couple of hours he had spent with Liam tonight than he had in the last six years. And wasn't that both a sobering _and_ potentially wonderful thought.

"So I can tell from your accent you didn't grow up round here. Somewhere up north I'm guessing, Leeds maybe?" Liam ventured, no doubt trying to draw Zayn into the conversation.

"Close. I'm actually from Bradford. Yeh, um, born and bread," Zayn stammered, nervous to reveal anymore in case it led to more questions from Liam that he knew he'd be reluctant to answer.

"Ok. Ace. I've never been to Yorkshire myself but I remember me mum talking about going on a walking holiday to the Dales with her family and how beautiful it was. So what was it like for you when you were a kid? You have a big family?"

And part of Zayn wanted to tell Liam about his life in Bradford. About mucking about with his friends, just being silly and his love of all things nerdy like superheroes, Star Wars and comic books. How he did have a big family, ridiculously big when he really thought about it, all gathering together for family celebrations like Eid. Eating his Mum's wonderful samosas and then fighting over the last ones with his sisters (two younger, one older, who he was fondly reminded of when Liam spoke of his siblings). How his Baba was the one who first introduced him to the world of ballroom and how they continued to bond over it all through Zayn's childhood.

But he just couldn't. Couldn't overcome the crippling fear that revealing part of himself would ultimately result in him exposing everything. All the dark aspects of his life that he wanted to keep hidden from everyone, especially Liam, who was too pure of heart to be sullied by Zayn's dirty little secrets. Who's opinion of him he suddenly valued above all else. No, best to continue to keep most of his cards close to his chest and hope that would be enough to at least cultivate a friendship with his amazing teacher.

So Zayn offered Liam the smallest parcel of information - just enough to hopefully satisfy his curiosity without it looking like he was fobbing him off.

"Well, Bradford's actually not that far from the dales but we didn't have a lot of money growing up so we never really had the chance to go on holidays like that. So yeh, I guess like you said, there was never much of anything to do. Well apart from dancing."

Not wanting to dwell on the subject of his life back in Bradford any longer, Zayn gave Liam a small smile, before putting on an exaggerated shiver for effect (knowing full well it would play into Liam's sense of chivalry), as he suggested, "You want to start heading back to the studio? It's starting to get a bit too cool for me sitting out in the open like this."

"Oh, yes of course. I'm sorry - I tend to forget that not everyone is like me when it comes to the cold. Mum always said it was like I had a build in heater!" Liam laughed, as he got up to put their rubbish in the bin.

They made their way back to the car park in front of Studio B in relative silence, exchanging a few furtive glances with each other and at one point a playful bumping of shoulders, to which Zayn couldn't help but giggle in response. Liam seemed to take this as his queue to speak up finally.

"Did you want to get some ice-cream? I mean I know you said you were feeling cold, but there's a great little place a couple of streets over and if we walk quickly hopefully you'll warm up enough to feel like a two-scooper once we get there?" Liam said with a giggle and what Zayn now new was his own special version of a wink. _Could he get any cuter_?, Zayn thought.

"Um. I should probably get going actually cause it's a bit of a walk back to my place. I have to get up pretty early in the morning for work and I still have to get to the launderette before it closes." Zayn shrugged, before continuing apologetically, "Can't afford a washer yet. Sorry. I...I wish I could stay and chat longer - I've really enjoyed getting to know you better."

And it was true. So true. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed spending time with someone as much as he did with Liam, but he also didn't want to push his luck. While Zayn was beginning to think that having Liam in his life might be a good thing, he just wasn't sure how yet, and more importantly he wasn't even sure Liam was feeling the same way.

As if he had read Zayn's mind, somehow attuned to his current state of uncertainty, Liam responded hopefully, "Thats ok, we can do a rain check on the ice-cream, but you don't have to walk you know. My car's right here. I could give you a lift if you want ..."

"No!" Zayn barked, cutting Liam off abruptly mid sentence before continuing in a more even tone, "It's fine. I don't want to put you out. You've already done enough buying me dinner. Really."

The look of hurt on Liam's face came as no surprise to Zayn. He knew he was probably coming across as a right doughnut but he also knew he had no other choice. He wished he could have just taken it as the sweet offer it was surely intended to be (as well as confirmation of the way he hoped Liam was feelings towards him). That he could have just graciously accepted his offer of a lift and enjoyed a few more precious minutes with this wonderful man.

But the truth of the matter was that there was no way he was getting in Liam's car (or _any_ car), and sadly this was Zayn's reality. His life was a not some fairytale where the hero (Liam) comes riding in on his white steed (a banged up old Toyota Corolla) and rescues the damsel in distress (that would be Zayn). No his reality was far more complicated, leaving no room for happily ever afters.

Liam, however, seemed to have other ideas, not wanting to let go of his role as the hero quite so easily.

"Zayn, come on. I get that you don't like accepting help from people, but I'm not going to let you walk home in the dark when I could easily drive you," he contended.

"Liam, I know you're trying to do the right thing and I appreciate it, but I'm really fine to walk even if it's dark out. I'm a big boy ok. I don't need to be escorted home. Can we just drop it and call it a night?" Zayn implored, trying to keep his emotions in check, while hoping that he had finally made his intentions clear.

Sadly, Liam still wasn't getting the message, giving Zayn his best puppy dog eyed expression and questioning quietly, "Ok. But, are you sure? Cause it's no trouble really. I mean ... unless there's something else going on here that you're not telling me about?"

And that was it for Zayn. He couldn't hold himself back any longer. Where did Liam get off being able to see straight through his crappy excuses so easily, to call him out on his bullshit. _Not on his watch_ , he thought stubbornly. No one, not even Liam "Mr Perfect" Payne was going to get through his defences. This damsel was going to stay in distress. This damsel didn't need, or more importantly, deserve to be rescued!

So he let everything out. And not just his current frustrations, but everything that he had bolted up for too many years. And he directed it at the one person who least warranted such an emotional response.

"I said no Leeyum. NO! I don't want a fuckin' lift. And I sure as hell don't want to deal with your two bit amateur psychology," he roared, pausing briefly to take a breath, before barrelling on, "Trust me when I tell you there's no mysterious reason for me not wanting to get in your car. Well other than wanting to make my own way home. Ok?"

Zayn's not sure how long they were stood on that footpath then, just staring at one another. Both breathing heavily, both he suspected, desperately trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Why a night that had been filled with so much joy and laughter only minutes earlier had suddenly degenerated into something decidedly dark.

Predictably, it was Liam who finally found the courage to speak. To break the excruciating tension that had begun to envelop them like a heavy winter fog. Because that's what heroes do don't they. They take the fall for everyone else. They do what they have to to ensure everyones happiness, even if it's to their detriment.

"I'm sorry Zayn. I..I didn't mean to upset you. That's the last thing in the world I'd want to do," he croaked out, looking like he was close to tears. "I thought offering to drive you home was what you'd want, but I obviously read tonight all wrong. I shouldn't have made assumptions and I definitely shouldn't have tried to stick me nose in where it wasn't wanted. I'm - I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry."

Zayn was at a loss for words too, especially after what Liam had just said. What could he possibly say that would come any where near to conveying the grace and humility that Liam had just displayed? So, coward that he was, he stayed mute, refusing to meet those beautiful brown eyes, afraid that if he did he would be rightfully overcome with overwhelming guilt.

Once again it was Liam who stepped up to the plate, somehow wanting to assuage Zayn's guilt, even though it was throughly undeserved.

"I'll go. Leave you be," he conceded, as he took a couple of steps backwards. "Thanks for having dinner with me. It was nice to get to know you a bit better too. Hope I didn't bore you too much with my stories from home?"

And then he smiled. A true warm smile and Zayn felt his heart lurch in his chest. Hmm. So it still works then, he thought. Pity he'd blown maybe the only chance he was going to get to give it away to someone. Someone special like Liam, who would have cherished it. Who would have gladly done the same in return.

Inexplicably, this new found knowledge that he was still capable of feeling something akin to affection, spurred Zayn into action and he spoke up timidly, "Leeyum. I'm sorry too."

He sighed frustratedly, desperately searching for something else to say. Something, _anything_ , that would help chip away at this invisible wall that had sprung up between them. A wall that, if he was being completely truthful, Zayn had created all on his own.

"I told you Zayn. It's ok. It's not your fault ok? I don't want you beating yourself up over this. I.." Liam began, before seeming to struggle to get the next words out.

"What? It's ok Li. Just say it."

"It's just that I hope this doesn't put you off coming back next week. Because I've seen the difference in you since that first lesson. And it looks good on you mate. Happiness I mean." He paused then, looking down at the ground before adding shyly, "I think happy Zayn is kinda amazing actually, if I'm being perfectly honest. Sorry. I know that must sound pretty sappy. I just wanted you to know that."

And at that moment Zayn was sure he probably looked like one of those laughing clowns you find at a country fair, his mouth wide open in shock at Liam words. Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance to voice a response, Liam turning with a little wave and a softly spoken goodbye. Zayn watched on silently as he walked dejectedly over to his car, before getting in and driving off down the road and eventually out of sight.

Zayn knew he should start walking too, or risk not getting to the laundrette in time, but he couldn't seem to get his legs to work, his body (and mind) frozen in shock at what had just occurred between him and Liam.

Luckily his phone rang just then, breaking him out of his trance. He fumbled to retrieve it from his back pocket, answering it without looking to see who was calling.

"Hello", he grumbled, not in the mood for pleasantries, but there was no answer so he tried again. "Hello. Is there anyone there?"

"Zayn? That ya chief?" the person (a man) squeaked out.

Zayn could scarcely believe his ears, but there was no mistaking that familiar Irish lilt.

"Niall," he said breathlessly, "Is that really you, bro?"

"Yeh lad. It's me. Long time no speak, hey?" he responded in an attempt at joviality, "Hope ya don't mind me calling you. I got the number of ya Mum."

"You spoke to Mum?" Zayn sputtered, "How..how was she? Did she say anything about me?"

"Yeh, we talked for a bit. Um, Zayn do you think we could maybe meet up to talk about this in person rather than over the phone?" he suggested hesitantly. "It's just that I think there's probably a lot that we both want to get off our chests and it might be easier face to face, ya know?"

Zayn let out an audible puff of air at Niall's suggestion. The thought of seeing this man, who once numbered among his closest of friends, for the first time in so long filled him with apprehension.

Once over his initial shock however, he conceded, "Ok, if that's what you want. But are you sure you want to see me? Won't that bring it all back? I..I don't want to upset you man." Zayn deliberately didn't give voice to his own fears and distress at the thought of meeting up with Niall, believing his feelings, while valid, were not deserving of acknowledgment when compared to his friends'.

"Truthfully?" Niall confessed, "I think it's gonna be really hard for both of us, but I can't see a way round it, can you?"

"No. No, I guess not. Um, when were you thinking of coming down? Mum told you I'd moved to Brixton didn't she?"

"Yeh, she did - Next week sometime ok? How 'bout you text me back on this number a time and place and I'll be there."

"Sure. I...I can do that. I'll see you next week then I guess. Bye Niall."

"Yeh, bye Zayn. It was nice to hear your voice again. It's been way too long man, I missed ya."

Niall hung up then and for the second time that night, Zayn was paralysed with overwhelming emotions.

Niall Horan. A name he had consciously tried to push to the back of his mind for over five years (with limited success it should be said), but one he now had no choice but to confront. The demons from his past were starting to catch up with him, as he knew they inevitably would and Zayn was compelled to face up to them, even if the mere thought of it scared him shitless.

 


	2. The Lovers, the Dreamers and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm not sure if anyone still cares, but I haven't updated for two months, so in light of that I've decided to put out a little snippet of chapter 2 as a thanks to anyone for sticking around and to see if there is any interest in me continuing. If there is hopefully it will serve to inspire me, something I have been lacking really ever since I finished chapter 1. I'm embarrassed to say this is actually the only scene I've written for this chapter - it will likely be quite a bit longer, word count wise, if I do continue. Thanks :) UPDATE - I've made a decision about continuing if anyone cares. See my comment. Thanks

"Liam ... Liam!"

"What?" Liam responded absent-mindedly, glancing up from his current position (sitting slumped down on their old sofa), to see his roommate and more importantly long-time best friend, Harry come into view. He was staring down at him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"I've asked you if you wanted pancakes for breakfast twice already and you still haven't answered me! What is wrong with you this morning? You're normally the one pestering me to make you something before I've even had a chance to take a piss."

Liam scrunched his face up in disgust at Harry's over sharing, before retorting, "Oh. Gross Harry. I'd rather not think of you getting your dick out thanks very muchly - way to turn me off any kind of food, let alone your pancakes."

"Excuse me, Liam," he corrected, mock annoyance clear in the lilt of his voice and by his slight smirk. "I'll have you know there are a lot of people who would kill for just a taste of one of my pancakes .... and my _dick_ for that matter."

 _Oh_ _my_ _god_ , Liam thought, _Why_ _is_ _he_ _like_ _this_? "Well I've seen you in action at Electric and how all the girls _and_ guys flock around you like bees to a honey pot, so I definitely know that's true, but I'm afraid I'm not one of them, sorry love," Liam offered with a lazy shrug, not really in the mood to continue with this particular conversation.

"Yeh, I know babe. It's ok, I get the feeling you're too busy thinking about a certain dance student's co..."

"Harry!"

"What?" Harry replied with wide eyed innocence, as he plonked himself down beside Liam, "Tell me I wrong then.”

"You're wrong Harry,” Liam dead panned.

"Ah. Very funny. But you still didn't answer my ques ... “ Harry stopped mid sentence then, cocking an eyebrow questionably before turning to face Liam square on and very deliberately leaning forward to sniff at Liam.

Liam flinched slightly at Harry's actions not entirely sure why he was being sniffed, but he'd learnt to expect the unexpected when it came to his best friend.

“Hey … you haven't gone for your run yet have you? ‘Cause you don't smell like your usual sweaty self. There _is_ something going on with you. I knew it!" Harry declared proudly, as he clapped his hands in triumph.

"I hate to break it to you Harry, but I don't _always_ go for a run in the morning," Liam said casually, in a vain attempt to dismiss this particular line of questioning.

"Ok. Right I'm sorry I forgot - you give it a miss on Christmas morning, New Years and maybe your birthday. And stop me if I remembering incorrectly, but didn't you end up going last Christmas anyway because you where too excited about your family coming down to visit?” Harry paused as he placed a comforting hand on Liam's thigh, giving it a quick squeeze before continuing, “Come on Liam. First you're not interested in breakfast and now I find out you've skipped your run. There must be something wrong."

Liam started to involuntary bounce his leg then, nerves getting the better of him at the thought of maybe having to open up to Harry about what had happened the night before with Zayn. So he put on a brave face, avoided making eye contact and replied quietly, "I'm fine Haz. Really. Just a bit tired is all."

Undeterred by Liam's weak attempt at fobbing him off Harry barrelled on, "Did something happen last night with one of your classes? Was it one of those tearaways in your 8 o'clock class giving you lip again about your 'granddad moves'. Cause if it was, I've told you already Li, you just need to put those teenagers in their place - show em who boss. You're too kind for your own good ..."

"It's not that, Harry,” Liam interrupted, “I didn't even have that class last night. I cancelled it cause half of them had come down with the flu." And as soon as these words had left his mouth, Liam knew he'd messed up, if the puzzled look on Harry's face was anything to go by.

“Hang on, so why didn't you get home till gone ten then? I know you like to practice after class sometimes, but even you being 'Mr Fitness slash Perfectionist’ wouldn't dance for that long."

Yep. He was right. Harry had put two and two together like Liam knew he would and he now had one of two choices. Either come up some unconvincing lie on the spot as to what he was doing in those couple of missing hours or just come clean and tell the truth. In the end the choice was made for him by Harry's next question.

“Does this have something to do with Zayn, love?”

Nine simple little words, but their significance was the exact opposite of little. So Liam decided to bite the bullet and finally reveal exactly what had happened with Zayn (although truth be told Liam wasn't even sure himself what had caused last night to ultimately go so wrong).

“We got dinner last night. Zayn and me. Just McDonalds, you know. Nothing fancy cause Zayn's one of these people who likes to stand on their own two feet - he didn't want to feel like he owed me too much. I like that about him. That he's independent.” Liam chanced a glance up at Harry at that moment hoping his fond towards Zayn wasn't showing to much. It was apparently, given Harry's wide eyed, pouty expression, the living embodiment of ‘awww’. “Anyway we ended up sat on a bench in Rush Common eating our tea and just talked for like nearly an hour. Well - I did most of the talking, but Zayn did open up some and it felt a little bit like a turning point. Like we were becoming friends at least.”

“Ok. So that was it? You didn't do anything else after?” Harry asked cautiously, clearly not wanting to push Liam to open up before he was ready, but also wanting to get to the reason why he was so upset.

“I wanted to. Everything was going great so I asked if he'd like to go for some ice cream at Lab G and he said he couldn't.” Harry crooked an eyebrow in question, “Early start at the caff where he works. Anyway that was fine, we agreed to take a rain check and I thought I'd drive him home. Maybe even get to share a little kiss good night. Honestly Harry, I would have been over the moon even if all he'd agreed to was a kiss on the cheek.”

“I take it things didn't quite go to plan then?”

“That would have to be the underestimate of the fuckin’ century Haz!” Liam bemoaned loudly.

Harry fixed him with a look of disapproval then, eyes squinted and brows furrowed, and Liam knew right away that he was unfairly directing his anger and frustration towards the wrong person. But he couldn't help it. The right person, Zayn, wasn't here (probably would never be) and Liam felt like he needed to get these feelings out before they started to consume him.

“I'm sorry Harry. I'm..I don't know, I'm all over the place at the moment. It's just so frustrating to get your hopes up and then for it to all turn to shite in the space of a few minutes.” Liam sighed out dejectedly, as he ran his hands through his hair roughly.

“It's ok babe. I get it. I've been here every time you got back home on a Wednesday night the last few weeks to see you practically jumping out of your skin with excitement over this boy,” Harry reassured Liam as he reached over to gently pull his hands away from his hair, “Just tell me what happened love and maybe I can help?”

Liam gave Harry a doubtful look before continuing hesitantly, “I just asked him if he wanted a lift home. That's all. And at first when he said it was ok, that he could walk - I thought well there's that independent streak of his again I'll just ask again, make sure he realises that it's what I want you know? That I wasn't doing it to be noble or some shit like that.”

“All sounds fine to me. You're not the type to offer to do something just to make yourself look good Li and I'm sure Zayn would have known that.”

“Yeh, that's what I thought. And I don't know, maybe I did push him a little, but I genuinely didn't like the thought of him walking home by himself at that time of night.” Liam shrugged, still desperately trying to piece together the events of last night into some sort of logical conclusion. “Anyway I started to think that there was something else going on because he almost seemed as if he was getting annoyed with me? Which ... why? It didn't make sense? So I asked him out right if there was another reason why he didn't want to get a lift.”

“And? What did he say?” Harry asked breathlessly, obviously now fully invested in Liam's story.

“What did he say? Hmm. He didn't _say_ anything,” Liam declared sarcastically, “He yelled - wow yelled doesn't do it justice to be honest. He kinda just exploded at me. Like he really lost it Haz. Told me again that he didn't want a lift and then accused me of trying to analyse him or something, that I was being nosy.”

Liam felt the hold Harry had on his hands tighten noticeably, almost to the point of it being painful, signally his apparent distress and likely anger at Liam's words. It prompted him to look up at Harry fully, confirming his suspicions as he was sporting a throughly grim expression.

“Liam you shouldn't have to put up with how Zayn acted. You know that right? Please tell me you didn't apologise and excuse him for yelling at you and treating you like shit!” Harry challenged as he released his hold of Liam's hands and cupped his faced gently.

Liam tried to drop his head down to avoid his friends steady gaze, but Harry wouldn't let him, increasing the grip he had on his face slightly, clearly determined to have his questions answered. “I could see something had upset him, Haz. He looked really distressed. I … hated to see him like that,” Liam started hesitantly, “I mean as much as it took my by surprise for him to be so angry at me, I had to admit that I'd probably pushed him to far. That it was partly my fault.”

“No Liam. I'm not going to let you do that. You're not going to let him get away with what he did to you. For crying out loud love, he yelled at you, made you feel bad when all you were trying to do was help him out!”

“Haz …”

“ _Liam_. _Don't_.” Harry interrupted, “I've seen you go through too much shit in your life and what you've done to overcome it - to get your confidence back. I'm not going to stand back and see you get bullied again. Especially by someone who you thought cared about you.”

“Zayn didn't bully me Harry. It wasn't like that, trust me. I've had enough experience with that crap to know it wasn't that,” Liam countered dejectedly, as he finally succeeded in pulling his face out of Harry's large hands.

“Then what would you call it? You at least have to agree that what he did wasn't on babe.”

“Yeh, I know it wasn't fair, but….”

“Liam,” Harry interrupted again.

Liam responded by fixing him with pleading eyes before continuing, “Harry just let me explain ok? Look you've heard me talk about how fit Zayn is. Go on and on about his eyes, how long his eyelashes are, about his amazing tattoos. But I've never told you about him. Like the person underneath the perfect exterior.”

“Ok. Like what exactly?” Harry asked curtly.

Liam took a moment to compose his thoughts, to catalogue all the little things he'd witnessed that made Zayn special to him, before confiding, “He has a way about him. When someone talks he gives them his full attention, like what they're saying is the most important thing in the world, even if they're just talking about what they had for lunch. And he has this gentle kindness about him too. Like I'm not stupid I can tell that he's been though some shit in his life, but he hasn't allowed it to really affect him you know?”

Harry still looked unconvinced but he gave a small nod as if signalling his permission for Liam to continue arguing his case for Zayn.

“When we were waiting in line to get our food at Maccas, there was this lady with a whole bunch of kids in tow and one of them needed to go to the toilet but she had a baby in a high chair so it just looked like it would be far to difficult for her.” Liam paused then as he began to fiddle with the frayed edge of his t shirt, a smile taking over his face at the memory of what Zayn did next. “So completely out of nowhere Zayn goes over and offers to watch the baby for her. And at first she seemed hesitant to accept his offer but Zayn just flashed a smile at her and of course she melted. No one can resist that face.”

“Let me guess - he was wonderful with the baby wasn't he?” Harry said somewhat sarcastically, but with a hint of a smile forming, his cautious facade starting to melt slightly.

Liam couldn't help but let out a little chuckle in response, as he clearly remembered the far too premature thoughts that ran through his mind when he saw Zayn with that baby _-_ something along the lines of _if I was a woman, my ovaries would be screaming right now!_

“Yeh, he was amazing. The baby started to get fussy when he lost sight of his mum, but Zayn distracted him by somehow quickly making a rough looking dog out of a napkin. And then he started to put on this silly dog voice as he was talking to the kid. It was ridiculous really but the baby ate it up and was laughing and looking at Zayn like he was the best thing he'd ever seen.”

“Kinda like the same way your looking now Li?” Harry queried with raised eyebrows and a self satisfied smirk, “You've really got it bad, haven't you babe?”

Liam buried his face in his hands as the realisation of what Harry had just said hit him full force, peaking out through his fingers to squeak out, “Oh god. I really have haven't I?”

“Liam.. look I get how much you like this lad. And I'll admit that he sounds pretty great, but I'm sorry, it doesn't excuse what he did to you last night. I don't care what stuff he may have gone through in his life - nothing excuses yelling at someone or being abusive.”

And reluctantly Liam had to admit to himself that Harry was right. He cared a lot about Zayn, more than was probably normal or healthy for someone who he'd only known for less than a month, but even he couldn't completely excuse Zayn for how he had acted towards him.

“You're right Haz. I wish you weren't but you are. I guess I just needed to see it all laid out in front of me to finally be honest with myself. Thanks babe,” he said, as he reached over to take Harry's hand, “Thanks for listening - I don't know what I do without you sometimes.”

“Well lucky for you you won't ever have to find out because your stuck with me babe. You never getting rid of me!” Harry declared confidently with a broad smile, dimples on full display.

“Thanks love,” Liam said as he gave Harry's hand a quick squeeze.

“So what are you going to do now?”

“Well there's not much I can do. I haven't got his number so I couldn't contact him even if I wanted to. I guess I'll just wait until I see him at next weeks class - although I doubt he'll be coming back,” Liam finished glumly, resigned to the fact that there was a good chance he'd never see Zayn again.

“And if he does turn up to your class - you going to let him do it? You don't have to you know. Its your class, your rules. Rude wankers not allowed!” Harry challenged, although from his tone Liam could tell he was only being half-serious.

“ _Harry_. He's not a wanker ok?” Liam chastised, “And I wouldn't turn him away. I know how much he enjoys the lessons. I'm not taking that away from him no matter how awkward it might be.”

“Ok. Ok. I get it. Still think you're being a bit too forgiving but I won't give you anymore grief about it - at least for now.” Harry conceded reluctantly, “So you feeling hungry yet?”

“Yeh. A little I guess.”

“Brilliant,” Harry exclaimed as he jumped up from the lounge and made his way back towards the kitchen, “Pancakes then?”

“Yeh, sounds good. And Harry,” Liam waited until he knew he had his best friends attention before continuing, “Thanks again, for everything. You're the best babe.” Harry just nodded his head and gave a little smile in return and for what felt like the umpteenth time Liam thanked his lucky stars that he had this special lad in his life.

Once Harry had made his way back into the kitchen, Liam sighed deeply, tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling as if it would hold all the answers to the myriad of questions running through his mind. Knowing that continuing to dwell on his problems with Zayn was likely to drive him crazy and just upset him more, Liam looked back down searching for the remote, hoping that maybe some mindless morning tele would help.

Five minutes later, after trying valiantly to concentrate on a cooking segment on _This_ _Morning_ about making ‘The perfect roast chicken’, Liam's mind continued to wander back to Zayn as he found himself thinking _Zayn_ _would_ _like this recipe, he_ _likes_ _chicken_. He subsequently told himself off, frustrated that he had such poor self control when it came to this boy and then of course immediately proved that statement right by wondering whether Zayn would be at work yet or not?

"Liam! Enough already. I can hear you thinking from over here." Harry yelled from the kitchen while simultaneously throwing a oven mitt at Liam's head. He missed thankfully, his ability to throw no match for Liam's quick reactions and adept ducking skills.

Liam picked up the mitt from where it had landed next to him on the couch and began fiddling with it's frilled edge, before meeting Harry's enquiring gaze. "I wasn't thinking ...".

Harry eyebrows shot up immediately, practically rising right of the top of his head in response to his denial, so Liam knew right away that the jig was up. There was no fooling Harry when it came to his feelings and thoughts on Zayn, given their obvious transparency.

"Fine. You caught me. Happy now. I admit it, I can't stop thinking about Zayn even for a few minutes," Liam sighed, "even though I wish I could."

"Babe," Harry whined, as he walked out of the kitchen, "I wish you could too. Where's an Obscuro spell when you need one?”

Liam couldn't help but roll his eyes at Harry's lack of knowledge when it came to all things Harry Potter. "It's Obliviate Harry. The memory charm is _Obliviate_ , not Obscuro. That's the one Hermione used in Deathly Hallows to conjure up the blindfold. How you can still get the charms mixed up given how many times you've sat right next to me on this very sofa watching all the films and listening to me talk about the books?"

Harry harrumphed exaggeratedly before fixing Liam with a disgruntled look, hands firmly placed on hips. "Well of course I know Obscuro isn't the memory charm! I was just playing dumb in an attempt to distract from your overthinking, _Liam_."

Liam couldn't help but smile fondly at Harry's attempt at a snarky comment (and also his sneaking suspicion that he actually had got the charms mixed up and was just covering), his friend never quite able to pull off a clap back for fear of actually upsetting his intended target, especially when that person was Liam.

"Are you taking the piss out of me now Liam. You're really going to go there?"

"I'm sorry Haz. You're just so cute when you're trying to chastise me.”

"Liam,” Harry whined.

"Ok, I'll stop teasing, I promise." Liam bargained, as he held his hands up in surrender.

"Good. Now please tell me I've finally succeeded in getting your mind of your boy?"

"He's not _my_ _boy_ babe, but yes you have - well at least for a little while."

"Perfect! Now clear the coffee table for me. Breakfast is nearly ready."

As Liam watched Harry march triumphantly back into the kitchen, he decided to let him have his moment and keep quiet about the fact that he'd lied about being able to get Zayn out of his head. The sad truth was that the beautiful boy had actually been an almost constant presence in both his conscience and unconscious mind, ever since he'd first laid eyes on him. Liam also wasn't going to mention the dreams he'd had involving Zayn, most of which were most definitely NSFH (not safe for Harry!).

The fact was that when Liam really thought about the feelings he developed for Zayn there was no logical explanation for their strength or the speed of their development. From the moment he'd first laid eyes on Zayn walking through the door of his studio, his heart-rate had increased, his mouth had gone dry and his ability to get his tongue to work properly seemingly disappeared. He was quite sure he'd made a complete fool of himself as he lurched forward to introduce himself and all he'd been able to get out was a jumbled mess of words consisting of ‘ _Hi_... _Liam_. _I'm_ _Liam I mean - not you obviously. Dance? You're_ _here for a lesson. Well .. I .. you know, why else would you be here?”_

Liam had wished for the ground to swallow him whole at that moment and things had gone from bad to worse when it became apparent that Zayn had come alone and therefore would need a partner to dance the rumba routine Liam had prepared. Harry hadn't believed him when he'd excitedly recalled the tingling sensation that had shot through his body when he first held Zayn's hand and that feeling didn't subside the whole time they danced together. Well pretty much the whole time he'd spent in Zayn's company since that fateful night.

Fast forward a few weeks later, after Liam had gotten to actually talk to Zayn and get to know him, well as much as he could given Zayn's secretive nature, Liam found himself liking pretty much everything about him. And with this thought came another - one, that after sharing last nights meal (and before the evening’s unfortunate ending), had only solidified even more in his mind. Namely an overwhelming desire to make Zayn a more permanent feature in his life. To go from a tentative friendship to something more. Perhaps something _significantly_ more.

Liam let out another big sigh at this somewhat momentous revelation, just as he heard Harry begin to dish up their breakfast. Suddenly remembering his friends request to clear the table, Liam began to quickly gather up the various magazines, books, comics and just general rubbish that seemed to always find a permanent home on their coffee table. Harry entered the living room just as he finished clearing the last of the mess, holding two plates stacked high with pancakes smothered with cream, maple syrup and strawberries. He looked so proud of his creation as he placed a plate down in front of Liam, he didn't have the heart to reveal that he still had little to no appetite. So Liam did what he's always done. He sucked it up, gave Harry a warm smile as he voiced his thanks and forced himself to eat every last mouthful.

Just like he would try to force himself to forget all about Zayn Malik. _Try_ being the operative word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience and sorry for any mistakes. You can talk to me on my [tumblr](http://www.wolfiequiffy.tumblr.com) if you like.


	3. Nothing sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update

Hi I posted this in the comments section of the last chapter, but I've realised that probably most people won't see it so I'm thinking this is the best way to get this out there.

UPDATE FOR ANYONE WHO CARES - It would appear that anyone who has commented favourably (while appreciated) on this chapter are most definitely in the minority. I doesn't appear as if this fic has captured many people's attention or interest so sadly at this stage I won't be continuing. It's just making me sad to be honest (I'm crying as I write this, I'm such a wimp!) because while I wasn't naive enough to think it would get that much positive reaction I genuinely thought it would be better received than this. I thought it was an ok premise and my writing was ok so idk I guess maybe it's just not interesting enough for most people. Thanks anyway for the small number of people that did take the time to read it. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't care so much about having an audience. It's dumb I know, and probably very insulting to those few who said they were looking forward to more of this fic, but I just can't be motivated to write at the moment with so few people invested. I sound so shallow don't I? Sorry again :(

p.s. Just want to say a big thanks to everyone that helped with my writing, either through encouragement or advice (or both) Especially those who read a snippet for me and provided feedback. I'm so sorry for getting you to do that because effectively I wasted your valuable time, which wasn't fair of me to do. So again sorry for putting you out. :)


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